Therefore whatever I am thinking is not normal and is biased towards the illness.
Thus, I should not be bothered to communicate with the [the] External World. I just stick to personal journaling and be happy living in my own Universe Within.
Well, at best I got B.L.E.S.S. That's all I need.
Other than that, everything else is self-contained.
As I mentioned before, we are our own universe. It is Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss. Within my personal capacity, I am my own God. Thus, I decide what is best for me and my Universe Within.
Even if I don't have this illness, I am a solitary creature. I don't conform to the standards set by society. It makes me wonder, is it sickness or is this who I really am?
Let say I embrace all these as the real me. One thing for sure is I no longer have a dilemma of who I would be. I will just be me and accept myself without having to wait for social approval from anybody.
All the while, those text messages, and social media interactions are my attempts for social acceptance.
I was trying very hard to say that. "Look, I am here. I exist!"
In its truest sense, I don't need that. As long as I know who I am and I share that with B.L.E.S.S., that all the evidence that I need to fulfill the need for acknowledgment.
Hence instead of becoming like a dog without a bone, I should focus on attaining the goals I set for myself. Those goals are mine. I set them and I work towards attaining them. It's a closed circuit. I don't need to justify my purpose to anybody. I am my own First Cause as well as my Servomechanism.
That makes me a human dynamo. The more I think about it the more I want to make it a Closed Universe. That's because WE ARE OUR OWN AUTONOMOUS GOVERNANCE AND THE ZEN OF PERSONAL BLISS!
mm
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