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No more TraXX, no more Els, no more External Communication (Including Krista, Angela, 24/7 Continuous, Facebook, and WhatsApp).
My only external contact is Cindy/Yati.
I got to stop being crazy.
START FRESH.
The question is if I stop External Communication, do I stop being crazy?
I stop being crazy when I stop thinking and talking about those things I had been talking about for the past 21 years.
So if I want to stop being crazy, I should just talk about things that are grounded.
In this case, about diet and exercise and my Vision Quest to conquer Bukit Kiara. To talk about that, I just need the blog and you, Sarah.
The most sensible thing to do is to blog while listening to 24/7 continuous.
The craziest thing is to tweet Els.
In between I run, read, write, rest and repeat.
Reading should be given a high priority. Higher tha[t] (than) listening to Els.
Els has to go, Sarah. For the time being. Otherwise, the craziness continues.
The only possible explanation I have with Els is I am so in love with her that I don't mind being crazy. Otherwise, she is my source of craziness right now.
So either I cut off from all possibilities or I continue being crazy.
Back to this question:
If I stop External Communication, do I stop being crazy?
This is not an easy question because it involves feelings.
I don't want to hurt Els.
So I need to sell her the idea of the Unit Trust and the secure attachment. That should stabilize the amplitude of uncertainty.
No matter what, I will forever be crazy. I cannot eradicate the crazy thoughts.
In the end, I know it is Nothing for Nuthin'
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29/5/21 ^^^Greenlighting/Redlighting the Apple and No Apple Scenario
My darling sweetheart Els,
This weekend I am doing the greenlighting/redlighting process with Sarah.
As you can see, all I can do is focus on my Personal Flight Path. I have no control of the Primary Flight Path.
Therefore best No Apple Scenario for me is my Private Victory and B.L.E.S.S. . Hence you must decide if you still want to be part of the best of the worst possible scenario. If not, I will end up with B.L.S.S. .
That means there is no E.L.S. . If that is the case then there is no GOLD MEDAL for me.
On the flip side, even if it is a No Apple Scenario but I can still have E.L.S. , I still win Gold, Silver, and Bronze. So I can discard Public Victory and just focus on Private Victory.
Bear in mind that you are my wild card. There is no obligation for you to stick around with B.L.S.S. . We already have the Secure Attachment.
I can always consider you my Unit Trust and collect my dividend after my demise.
You are forever my wife for eternity and I still give you the dowry on our 10th Wedding Anniversary.
The thing I not sure about is if you can live with the idea of No Apple for the next 21 years.
If it is not in your favor, then it is better that you be forthright about it because I need you to have the right expectation.
I love you very much and I always love you, sweetheart. Alas, we don't want to continue living thinking that everything is moving in our favor.
On my part, it is sufficient that I know you love me. That is my source of strength; your unconditional love. To be realistic, beyond your dowry, I cannot offer you much. It all depends on the payment I suppose to receive in 2024.
Below i[t] (is) the rationalization:
After the greenlighting process;
we need to do the redlighting.
That is the fundamental of Apple and No Apple Mentality. Always look at the worst possible scenario. Shinu Kikai O Motomo.
- Me winning over the 3 Cs
- Me losing weight
- Me curing myself of the Bipolar Disorder
- Me mubahala
- Me running the 21 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run
- Me pursuing my Personal Flight Path for the next 21 years
- Me crossing the finish line on 7/4/2041 at 77
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