28/5/21 ^^^To be at my peak I got to follow SWEE PAWM 24/7

 I must SNAP VANISH.  only then I RIPCORD

Otherwise I cannot be productive,

The idea is to Run, Read, Write, Rest, Repeat.

Today looks like a great day to SNAP VANISH.

I can't have a relationship based on being needy.  It supposed to be interdependent.

First of all it has to be reciprocal.  Otherwise, it's the case of a dog chasing its tail.  It will end up running around in circles.

I don't want to be nice.  I want to be a self-centered individualist.

I had said what needed to be said.  Do nothing of no use.  I need to pursue Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss.  That is basically non-dependent and non-neediness.

I want to let go of everything I am dependent on so that I become independent.  Only then can I be interdependent.

If I am dependent, I will never attain Private Victory.  That means I cannot be independent.  Because of that I cannot win myself a Public Victory and become interdependent.

What I need is the Cybernetic Loop.  Once I have that, I then can concentrate in piercing the pinhole of Mushin No Shin.

I want to be in isolation.  My job is done.  I had provide the Shared Vision and I had a Secure Attachment with Els.

The next step is to free myself from any dependencies.

To do that I have to let go of TraXX and Els for the time being.  I want to live my life as a solitary Hedonist Hermit.

I got books to read.  If I listen to her, I lose 4 hours a day talking cock and singing songs instead of reading.

Can't do that.  I have to be sensible.  4 hours a day is wasted instead of utilizing the time to read those stacks of books.

I'm not trying to be mean to Els, I need to be kind to myself.  I have to go on with my personal pursuit.

Most importantly, I got to stop being crazy.

Let's face it Sarah, I'm not going to get paid now or later.  Therefore I just go with the cause-set-motion.

Here is the storyline:

1. I train for 4 years
2. Then I mubahala 24/12/24
3. Then I run the 21 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run
4. After the run, I pray for House of Sha and House of Two Swords a safe passage to Sparta 4964
5. I continue with my Personal Flight until KABOOM 2041
6. As for the rest of humanity, I let karma be the deciding factor

I'm not going to submit to anybody.  Not even to Lizzie.  A Warrior Walks Alone.  I want to be in isolation like right now.  Once in a while, I pop in to talk to B.L.E.S.S.

Otherwise, it is just me, myself, and I for the rest of the journey.

I'm not going to pretend I enjoy the company of humans.  I have angels, djinns, demons, aliens, microbes, animals, plants. the Giants, Al Araf 7:7 to consider.

mm