Honey,
At the end of this passage is a call for action on your part. I need to know when is it that much is too much. Otherwise, I go on the whole nine yards with my ranting.
You got to help me right-size the whole thing. If not, I am like an overflowing reservoir.
That is the compulsion to go to the extreme.
When I flow, I don't know when to stop. That is my nature.
It is always taking it to the brink. It is good in the sense that once I build the momentum, I will keep on going.
The setback is I will have the tendency to go overboard.
I can't deny this behavior. What I can do is channel the energy towards something productive.
In the past, this behavior is even hazardous. Especially when I deal with vices.
Nowadays I no longer involved in vices but I still go overboard with anything that brings me pleasure.
I think if I can control this behavior, I can go far.
Be mindful that extreme behavior is closely linked to Bipolar Disorder.
It is an illness.
So as a person with a mental condition, my challenge is not just about dealing with the illness but also the side effects of the decision that I make.
Right now at most, it is affecting the way that I eat.
I need to contain the side effects to the minimum if I want to live an illness-free life.
My doctor disagrees that I can eradicate this illness from my system. She said I no longer experience the symptoms because the medication causes the illness to go into remission.
So I guess as long as I can still keep the illness within range without the need for medication, I should be OK.
For a start, I need to learn to pull the brake.
Therefore in preparing myself to become a Spartan Athlete Warrior, I choose to be moderate.
At the same time, I don't want to be too restrictive with this new behavior modification.
Like in the case of Tweeting you; that is such a great pleasure. However, I don't want to drive you away.
In other words, I don't want to overstay my welcome. So I need to know what is the appropriate amount of attention for you to take in. Otherwise, you might not like the idea of me pushing it to the brink all the time.
While you may have a higher level of tolerance for my extreme behavior, I don't want to go beyond the breaking point.
This is not an easy feat for me. It's like driving a high-octane race car on the street laden with traffic lights.
Given a choice, I want to go on a full-throttle with you. Nevertheless, you might misconstrue my action as being erratic or deviant even.
It's tough for me to decide on the course of action because like everything else surrounding my External Affairs, I am dealing with a Blind Apek situation. At best it is half an eye.
Well, you cannot put the blame on me for being myopic. The current condition is pretty blurry considering that all I see through the looking glass is none other than my own reflection.
You got to help me set the right expectation, honey.
mm
#traxxfm Hmmm... So you don't mind me Tweeting you excessively.
OK. but I have to warn you, I am an extreme person, an X-Factor.
If you can accept that, then half of the issue is solved. The half is about managing the enthusiasm.
#traxxfm Are you sure that you are mentally and emotionally ready to deal with me as an X-Factor?
I am preparing you for the road ahead sweetheart. As much as possible, I don't want you to have surprises.
I am an extreme...
#traxxfm The illness is just an amplifier. As a person, I am always pushing myself to the limit.
I live on the edge. It's never about playing safe with me although I had mellowed much.
Still, my life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. You like that?
#traxxfm To a certain extend I am LAWLESS. I was a renegade, a ronin, and an outlaw.
Now the politically correct term is Sigma Male. Can you accept me as who I am, my darling wife?
No facade with you and Sarah. Even with Lizzie, I am always Sine Cera.
#traxxfm Will you still love me if you know who I really am at the core?
Can you accept my essence? I am a Demon Angel through and through. A pretty badass mutha.
Can you accept this?
#traxxfm Fuh... That's a relief. I thought you might like to know what you are dealing with ROTFLMAO
Otherwise, I won't get 7 stitches on my left cranium. They all know my story. I don't want you to have the wrong expectation, sweetie.
#traxxfm Well, that's as far as the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly go.
If you can live with that realization, then WELCOME TO MY LIFE youtube.com/watch?v=70Rrbb C'est la Vie..
#traxxfm Whew... That's one big load off my chest...
I thought you will freak out. I was wrong about you. You are not just skin deep.
Thanks for standing by me through the toughest parts of my life. It's not easy being a deviant.
#traxxfm Seriously my darling, I mean it when said I am good with B.L.E.S.S. That's me being Sharudin, a Just Man/Just A Man.
The House of Two Swords I inherited from Solomon. I am just a factor; Soloman/Slyman.
*Wh[y] (What) am I gonna do with so many felines?
#traxxfm If it is up to me, let's collect what is due and we just live on the interest.
Houses in 83 and 85 BU 2/2 and Medina, Seattle are good enough. Even in Sapporo, we rent condos.
This is home sweet home:
#traxxfm 4 more years, then we know if everybody is playing fair.
Until then, be steadfast and be patient. We got to have faith.
If not, hey... We proceed to KABOOM 2041. Man proposes God disposes. God's delay is not God's denial.
#traxxfm As you can see... I poured everything I got into this Vision Quest.
I don't stop when I am tired. I stop when I am done!
#traxxfm Can I make a suggestion my darling? Make your world really small.
I know it is an antithesis but I promise you, if you venture inward, then you will find a door that opens up to Narnia.
Does it make sense my love?
#traxxfm By being small, you become complete. Then you will feel blessed.
It's not about more or more expensive. It is about less and less frequent.
This feeling of completeness is truly living in gratitude. No more taking. Then you'll be a generous giver.
#traxxfm Whatever it is sweetheart, always bear in mind that until 24/12/24, it is an Apple and No Apple situation.
So keep your head in the clouds but your feet firmly on the ground.
All these happen while I am a Blind Apek. I just follow where the argument leads.
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