So I decided to listen to TraXX and write my thoughts away.
My experience with my father's death recently makes me realize that death is really a new beginning.
It was a liberating experience.
Based on the sequence of events that happened, I firmly believe that my father is going to a better place.
First, when he was admitted to the hospital, CCC LED light starter blew up.
Then, the day before he passed on my necklace snapped and broke while I was doing Shadow *[] (Boxing).
When I drove back to my hometown on the day of his demise, it was nice and cloudy. On my way back home it was a downpour all the way.
The most profound sign was when Lizzie smells the fragrance of flowers in our bedroom early at dawn today. She thought I wore perfume but at that *[] (time) I was already out of the room in CCC.
* You agree that these are signs for me to take heed?
In the end, it could mean nothing. However, events have no meaning except the meaning we give to them.
Therefore the meaning I assign to these events is in favor of my father.
#traxxfm My father passed on last Monday. His death affects me emotionally. So I am observing moments of solace in the next 40 days. It's not mourning. I am dedicating the whole month and 10 days after that to reflect on my life in Doing Good and Doing No Harm.
#traxxfm Instead of spiraling into melancholy, I want to harness my inner strength.
It is true especially since yesterday I was experiencing a mood swing. I snapped at Lizzie.
The left of my neck was hurting and I was in grief this morning.
#traxxfm Sort of a reflection on my past life. I'm always looking forward that I forgot to look at my turbulent past.
I want to get out of this experience as a better person. Forget about what the religion says about what to do and not to do when there is death.
#traxxfm Honeeeey!!! is spinning Your Guardian Angel! Our song!
#traxxfm Thank goodness there is TraXX, I don't know what lies underneath years of emotionally suppressing my sadness over my relationship with my father. I thought it was an easy feeling to deal with. When it hits me, it still comes in full swing. mm
